Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
