I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
