Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
