So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
