listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
