Do vagina's smell?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
