We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
