the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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