he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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