I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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