My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
