If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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