So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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