pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think my moral compass just broke
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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