I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
