You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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