the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
