Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
handjob tips. give me some.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
