i was born a porn star she said
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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