During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
