I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We had to coat check the pizza.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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