please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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