No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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