My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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