one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
