At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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