we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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