last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I fill condoms, not promises.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
