I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
