I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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