I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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