How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
