I love black thongs
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize