Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The ass gains better be worth it
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