i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
