It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
