Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
