So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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