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I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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