i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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