No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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