My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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