the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
