i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
