just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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