She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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