plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
