remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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