I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
