I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
