i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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