If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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