What did we do last night that was yellow?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
