My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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