I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
