Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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