So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
