If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
