She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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