That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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