Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
