This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
