Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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