i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
