you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
