Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize