remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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